Tonight is my night of honesty; and in proper fashion I am disposed to of course be...honest...this evening’s subject is...well.....me
I.... am a misogynistic brown skinned cigarette smoking gin drinking monster.... I hide this fact.
I am cruel and cold blooded...people assume from my warm demeanor otherwise....but...they are mistaken...I do not care for people and on average I am unmoved by the struggles in other people's lives...in fact I find that watching my neighbor lose an uphill battle causes laughter to bubble up inside of me....oddly enough I love animals and am incensed when someone tries to harm them....an example may help...I once saw a man pick a puppy up by its tail and fling it into a dumpster 9 feet away.....I kicked his four front teeth in....I’m pretty sure he wears dentures now.....I later adopted the puppy..Think you can relate...don't start liking me yet
I have a sadistic lustful enmity towards women
I fantasize about hiring 2 prostitutes with big tits to take turns giving me head while I snort ketamine off of another one's ass.
I want to sodomize a barely legal cheerleader while she's clutching her frilly multicolored pom poms and screaming for more...or screaming for me to stop...it depends.
In fact 90 % of the women I meet I want to have selfish rough sex with and discard.
Secretly I enjoy watching people cry...I mean really cry...snot running down their chin and all...I am happiest when people are suffering and absolutely miserable...especially women...
I like alcohol... I thoroughly enjoy being inebriated and when drunk I am happy, violent, lecherous, and generally all things unpleasant; I want to get drunk and be drunk all the time...that's all there is to say.... I like deep fried food and rich desserts. I'm a very big fan of chocolate and bacon....lots of chocolate...oddly chocolate and sex make very good bed fellows....bacon not so much..Well again it depends
I am ever chasing sleep and the true nature of my sloth knows no bounds...I want to slumber for a thousand years...I am utterly transported with joy after a night of peaceful sleep.... I would like to sleep through the day to wake up in the evening knowing that my evening will consist of more sex, alcohol and drugs only to fall asleep again...I am lazy and absolutely abhor work as I stated before... I want to wake up to blowjobs ,naked women and the smell of roasting pork tenderloin , red eye gravy , buttermilk biscuits , sunny side up eggs and huge scoops of chocolate ice cream..
In my secret heart I want to be special and even better I want to be wealthy ...I mean really stinking fucking rich...I am acutely aware that I am unimportant and less than ordinary...I am the great mister "exactly what you expected" I have dreams sometimes about boarding jets to far off locations like Maldives and the French Riviera. I want to own an island where it’s a rule for the women to run around...run not walk... topless with umbrella drinks and on said island I want to sit at a quiet beach and get stoned out of my fucking mind....Still think I'm a lot like you? I’m sure a lot of you guys think I’m just like you…. Wait for it...
I want to take away life... sometimes...I like guns ...I like blades more....a lot more it’s safe to say...the sight of blood dark as pitch spattered across rusty metal gives me an almost orgasmic rush..I can feel anger inside of me getting ready to bubble up and spew all over people sometimes.... I could peel the skin right off of a person's face and leave it in long wet strips at my feet with no motive at all... .....I wonder what human flesh taste like sometimes ...and wonder what it would be like to bath in a pristine pool of hot ruby red blood....I want to torture people that hurt me....I want them to scream for months or at least until their vocal cords are shredded and they can only produce pitiful weak squeaking sounds.
I want to die sometimes...many times. I think about how to do it a lot. I think I've finally decided that if I do eventually feel the need I may place the barrel of a gun under the shelf of my chin and paint the walls in my bedroom with bone , blood , and bits of my brain...big bits most likely
I think about all of these things all the time.....every second of every minute of every day...but like I said before...I hide all of this...because society and the hand I have been dealt says that all of these thoughts and desires are....well... inappropriate...a shame really...
I work incessantly...and am always chasing money...but I will never be wealthy...I haven't had a peaceful nights sleep since I was 13...I wake up all the time from dreams I can't remember sweating, confused and of course...afraid...I eat healthy for the most part and do my best to abstain from tobacco and alcohol mostly...I haven't even smoked a joint in years
women....oh women.....women think I am sweet....hey I've got this winning smile and it does what it’s supposed to… it takes all of their weapons away...slightly shy but a little mischievous .....I know exactly what to say and how to say it...I can reduce most women to fits of girlish giggles...I have sung to women and composed poetry that has melted their hearts....if they only knew that chances are that while I'm singing or reciting a poem or sonnet for them relating equal parts love and passion.... I am most likely thinking of how I'm going to sexually use them or what they would look like cut up in a bath tub....
I don't know if everyone feels these things.....experience has told me... not so much......I have become fairly good at this game though ....and pretty much every single person I ever meet and tip a wink or a grin to...is completely oblivious to the jackal that’s under my skin...or the ice water coursing through my veins...or the festering disease that has poisoned my brain...
And that Ladies and Gentlemen....especially you Ladies
...... is a very good thing
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